Re: ♣Kuroshitsuji./Black Butler/.♠

[cirrus_sd]

(lol. it really depends on context. if you're referring to your story, you specifically said in the beginning that it was more of an anime than a book, so grammar shouldn't matter. if it's supposed to be a novel, though, bad grammar is a definite no-no.)

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

should i post the ciel seeing the death part now o-o or is someone else going to say something

[cirrus_sd]

post post post! ^^

[Shadows]

Sorry about that, just got a comment that was basically
"I don't care for your story but here's a bunch of grammar mistakes you made."
v.v

I really don't know what to say with edward, I'll just wait for a good moment to pop in...

[lily "the author" hanna]

i think you can post Gaby
im not posting at least

[lily "the author" hanna]

oh wow, that wasn't very nice

[cirrus_sd]

yeah...that's an awful thing to say

[Shadows]

oh wow, that wasn't very nice

She was polite about it but. Ugh. If I have to read one more bloody comment about my apostrophes or how 'thoughts are usually just displayed in italics', but the story is really 'interesting' and 'creative'.
I'm gonna throw my laptop out the window.

Gah...sorry again v.v

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

nyu its okay i understand i just want to know cus i dont want to interrupt someone elses post
also while i wrote this next post i was listening to this to convey the sadness v.v if you want to listen to it while you read the next post feel free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMLrGCfFOgk&videos=0r7obOPRQiE

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

Ciel : I stare for a long moment until my feet start moving towards the body with out me willing them to. "Se...bas...tian.." I whisper.
"No, young lord don't!You mustn't get any closer!" Its Mayrin, grabbing me and pulling me back. I shake my head and struggle to get out of her grip. "No, let me go!" I yell, thrashing about. Finny, hiccuping with sobs, runs over to me and pushes me back. "No, please, Master don't!" He crys.
I slap his arms away. "Stand back! Don't you order your own master around!" I snap, pushing past them and over to Sebastian's blood soaked body.
"Y-young master.." Finny begins to disolve into tears again.
"Sebastian," I grimance, "Stop fooling around and get up," I say, my breathing hard. When he doesn;t move i narrow my eyes at him. " I said GET UP SEBASTIAN!"
Again nothing. "What are you playing at you bastard!?" Im stepping in his blood now. I see the poker in his chest and with one motion pull it out and throw it behind me. I bend and pull on his collar. "Get up you moron! Who do you think you are disobeying me!" I yell but i find that im shaking all over and that my voice isnt even.
He doesn't move and he feels...cold..."Se..bastian.." I growl, my bottom lip trembling. What was wrong with him? Who the hell did he think he was, playing this stupid joke with me. His blank eyes stare up at me and i find that i can't take it anymore. I get on top of him and slap him across the face. "Get up its an order!". He doesn't move. I slap him again, the blood dripping down his gaping mouth getting on my hand. "An order, Sebastian!" I hit him again and again and again..and again..a-and a-again until Someone grabs my wrist in mid air.
"Its no use Master..give it a rest...Hes...dead' Bard says, staring at me sadly.
I stop, my breathing choppy.." Y-youre kidding right?...Sebastian...its a joke right?...Y-youre not dead.." I whisper. He doesn't move....I hide my face in his shoulder and cling to his shirt with one hand and hold his cheek with the other gently. "Youre my butler...Sebastian...you and only you..were suposed to be with me until the end.."
People are talking, Bard and Barren are talking about moving his body. Hands are griping me again and im being pulled away. "No!" I yell, thrusting my hand back out to try and hold on to him. "Young Master please.." Mayrins crying.
"Don;t Don't!"
"Ciel.." Someone else is saying.
My hand reaches Sebastiano butler pin, the one i gave him the day i met him. "Don't you dare leave me behind, Sebastian! Its an order you hear me! An order!" I pull the pin free and someones taking me away from him...

[lily "the author" hanna]

[aw, how sad :'( and the music really does add to it]

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

mhm v.v....-sniffle-sniffle-

[lily "the author" hanna]

[can anyone pull ciel away or do you have something planned?]

[cirrus_sd]

that was really well written...i could imagine it....really reminded me of godchild

Nadi: I watched the scene with apathetic eyes. Death and denial. I'd seen it countless times before. Well, it showed he cared for this guy, his butler. I would've loved to see some denial against my death. At least someone would've cared. I folded my arms and looked back down at the body. He looked very much murdered. I wonder who did it?

[lily "the author" hanna]

[i like the 'diabolic waltz' i was looking through the songs on the side... o.o]

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

anyone can talk to ciel or pull him away or what ever
i dont have plans for him right now v.v

and godchild? o-o?


Arthur : I feel tears in my eyes. I could imagine it only as this...Eddy..my brother eddy, finding out my dad was dead....Thats what it looked like to me. I could imagine him crying and yelling....and when i looked at ciel.....I ducked my head...Something told me that even the bond between father and son was nothing compared to what ever ciel had with sebastian...
I turn to see the young lord..he was standing with his small back shaking in grief, even so, not once did a tear fall down from his eye. did his pride as the master drive him to restrain himself so?... i thought, tears running down my own cheeks for him....or did this mean that even his tears have dried already?..

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

oh i like that one too o-o

[lily "the author" hanna]

i should learn to play it on my viola or find the score for it and ask my orchestra teacher to let the chamber play it or something!
that would be sooooo cool! seriously.

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

omg that would be awesome x.x i wish i could play instruments lol

[lily "the author" hanna]

Salice: I watch Ciel's back for a long moment, not sure what i should do. The boy was distraught. upset. angry. but i didn't know how to react to his tears. I couldn't just hug him, or tell him everything was alright. my eyes flicker over to where they're taking Sebastian's body away. i could perform dark magic to bring him back...but it wasn't something i was willing to do right now. i'd have to give part of my own life to him and i'd be in his debt too.

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

lmao i made ally cry >.< so maybe my writing isnt that bad after all

[lily "the author" hanna]

who ever said it was?? o.o

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

people on inkpop >.< lol and my little brother

[lily "the author" hanna]

wow. well, little brothers do that anyway. but people on inkpop shouldn't say things like that! well, not so bluntly, je-heez...

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

Arthur : Once i see that Ciel is in good hands. That of his maid, gardener and Tanaka, i walk over to the men as the gather round Sebastian's body. I bend down and look at his skull. "Theres serious trauma here.." I say and realize how much i sound like my father.

[Gaby_Babo-Unnie:3!~]

And i quote "I don't think writing is your calling...i find that you lack absolutely all emotion in your story and i don't really care for your characters"

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